Q. How do I know my loved one has a problem?

A. I will address this more fully in my initial blog posting, but there are many telltale signs that the use of alcohol and drugs has crossed over into addiction. Simply put, the person you love is just not there any longer. They need more and more alcohol to get drunk and consistently drink to blackout. They have legal, custody, and employment issues. They cannot sustain work and relationships. They have overdosed and almost died. They are in trouble with the law. You no longer feel safe having them in your home. They are not the person you used to know and you miss that authentic person they used to be. Addiction is like an iceberg; if you are seeing a big frozen rock of a problem on the surface, it is guaranteed that even worse issues are lying beneath the surface.

Q. If my family does an intervention will they definitely go to treatment and will they stay clean/sober forever?

A. Sadly there are no guarantees that the identified addict/alcoholic will either go to treatment or if they go that they will remain sober. The only guarantee is that the family system as it exists is absolutely going to change. You are no longer going to live in the chaos and lies. You are going to change the dynamic and you are going to set boundaries. The hardest thing for a toxic family structure to look at is how much EVERYONE needs to change.

Q. I feel so angry, hopeless, depressed, overwhelmed and/or numb from dealing with this person. How do I get better?

A. As the addict/alcoholic gets better, this is your chance to get better as well. Caretaking a person in crisis is debilitating and self-care must become a premium. I will direct all family members and other participants to recovery groups and individual therapy options.

Q. Should children participate in an intervention?

A. This is decided on a case-by-case basis. Usually children under the age of 12-14 years of age are not appropriate to have in an intervention, but exceptions can be made.

Q. Who participates in an intervention?

A. Family, friends and co-workers who are truly involved, who are impacted by the addict/alcoholic person’s behaviors and who are willing to hold boundaries and consequences.

Q. Will the person being intervened upon hate me for doing this intervention?

A. Quite often, the initial response to being intervened upon can be anger, humiliation, sadness, embarrassment and/or resentment. However, more often than not the person is very emotionally moved and heartened to see this gathering of people who love them so much. This disease wants the alcoholic/addict dead, plain and simple. Interventions are very powerful. They save lives!